"When your mind goes numb and understanding ends, stop thinking and start living."
The circumstances we are locked in, are most probably external, whereas conflict, like we all know, is internal. Take care of your inner conflict and the external will not matter much in the end. There is no difference whether you are a believer, a non believer or a disbeliever. Peace comes from inside.
When we are in the grip of anger, insecurity and anxiety and our cards start tumbling, the hunt for that inner peace becomes an overwhelming necessity.
Most of us are constantly looking for that something, that someone that will bring the inner peace. A new job, a new city, a mink coat, a new husband, friend, lover, a face-lift or boob job. Something that will make life better than what it is for us at the moment. We are constantly striving for the bigger and the better, in search for that peace we so desperately need.
I keep asking myself "Which part of me is me?" Is it my education, my career, my dress, my intellect, my memories? I am nobody but myself and that I guess, is where the conflict starts. Trying to be someone other than myself. On the road ahead I have to stop trying to be who someone wants me to be. Stop being the pretender, the claimant. Stop being the people's pleaser or even worse, the carer.
As a people's pleaser I see people around me as stronger and more powerful and myself as the weakest, and as a carer the people around me become weak and in need of me. Of course all this causes inner conflict and thus keeping us away from that much needed inner peace.
As a people's pleaser I see people around me as stronger and more powerful and myself as the weakest, and as a carer the people around me become weak and in need of me. Of course all this causes inner conflict and thus keeping us away from that much needed inner peace.
I need to do what's best for me - in the here and in the now.
Once our existential needs are met the need for inner peace and harmony arouse and needs to be fulfilled. Maslow's needs pyramid says it clearly. "The human being wants to be able to be himself and to permanently be able to experience inner peace, happiness and harmony".
One of the most vital needs of human beings is the need to be loved, cared for, accepted, appreciated and respected. Feeling neglected hurts deeply. But not showing that love, care, respect and affection to others, is where we fail and inner conflict starts. We have to sow to be able to reap. Karma- Cause and effect.
It's easy and comfortable to make ourselves emotionally numb when we are hurt, neglected or harmed. Hear no - see no - feel no. But the more we allow this behaviour to manifest in our lives the deeper we sink in that pit of self-pityness. Where I do not have to care, love, admire or pretend.
Becoming free of that turmoil that is captured within me is not always easy. We rebel against it - we cling to the exact thing we need to let go to get that inner peace and in the end freedom. To just be myself and be true to myself without interference from society, religion, culture and social order.
The Lotus growing from the mud and dirt, rises above it all and stands free in all it beauty. It lies within me to abandon the ways that create the bad effects in my life, recognize it and stop responding with anger, pain and rage. And get to the point where I can say I am truly at peace with myself.
"Nothing external to you has any power over you"
Ralph Emerson
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